The future

Sometimes I get really hyped up about it. Things like what color to paint my room, how big my study should be, what kind of tiles to get for the kitchen floor, etc. will get me excited and lost in my fantasy. This is why I can browse through bedspreads and plates/cups/curtains/pillows for hours without getting bored.

But other times, the future seems kind of bleak. Realistically speaking, my parents might not be around anymore. My friends might emigrate. I might not be in a relationship serious enough to lead to a lifetime with that person. Heck, I might even not meet anyone at all. So who's to say I can plan out my future when I might die in a horrific accident today?

I see some older people who don't have anyone special in their lives and that scares me. I know it shouldn't, but it does. Friends should be enough, I agree, but somehow I feel a void inside me that is crying out for something more. After all, you can't make out with your friends, yuck.

The best thing I can comfort myself with is that life has been pretty good to me so far. Most of the bad stuff that I have gone through are usually self-inflicted (e.g. my lack of determination/bad judgment/attitude), so I have no right to complain. Still, those of you who know me well should be accustomed to my whiny bouts of slight depression and thus can disregard this post. I shall be fine tomorrow.

I'm itching to read my library books right now.