Wank Around The Globe!

Today a customer asked the funniest question, and she didn't even mean it.

I was at the counter with my colleague Gar Meng, and she came up to me, holding a piece of paper.
She showed it to me, and in Mandarin, asked me if we had this DVD for kids.

The paper said two things [in messy handwriting, but the spelling was perfectly clear]:

_________________________

Barape [something something]

Wank around the globe

_________________________

At first I didn't realize anything weird, except when I typed in "barape" I wanted to laugh, 'cause the word "rape" put together with "kids' DVD" cracked me up. But I figured maybe it was another language; who was I to judge? So I stifled my childish thoughts and told her we didn't have that show.

So she pointed to the bottom line and asked me to check for that.

"Wank around the globe"

At this point, Gar Meng and I were exchanging incredulous glances and busy trying not to laugh out loud. Was this woman for real?? Did she sincerely have no clue that she was looking for a kids' show named "WANK Around The Globe"??

I forced myself to type the words "wank arou" into the system; who knows? Maybe some freak really did produce that show. But of course not.

As the woman was walking away, I started laughing silently. "Can she, like, leave now so I can laugh openly?!?"

I'm sorry, I'm being extremely rude, but I can't help it. It's for kids?!?!


What has the world evolved to now?


Speaking of wanks (or wankers, in this case - one particular wanker), there's this customer, M, who bought a few US imported blu-ray discs a few weeks back after hour-long debates about whether they were indeed US imports or not.

HE IS A HUGE WANKER. AND I AM NOT COMPLIMENTING HIM IN ANY MEANING.

He called my store at 9:23PM today, and being the nice, fantastic, wonderful person that I am, I answered the phone since it wasn't 9:30PM yet (that's when we close for the night).

I fully regret that now.

He kept me on the phone for a good ten minutes, all of which I could only make out that he was dissatisfied. Apparently one of the discs wasn't imported from the States, so he couldn't sleep well at night until he makes sure all of us know he didn't get the US import, give him the correct one, and spend the rest of our lives repenting our mistake.

Freaking weirdo. He's seriously wack in the head, I tell ya. Towards the end of the phone call, he blurted that he was about five minutes away from my store and tells me to wait for him. So, being the fantastically patient person that I am, I said, "Sure. See you," and hung up.

During that five minutes (which turned out to be fifteen, thankyouverymuch, M), I called my other branch that most possibly had the US import, and after checking that it was definitely from the States, told them to put it aside for M.

When he finally arrived at my store, Gar Meng was all ready to fake-smile him to death.
After a ton of explanation, he comprehended what I said and left for the other branch. I had to pick up all my dropped brain cells after that. Ugh. I feel dumber now.

Just bear with me for a few more paragraphs. It's not finished. M's not finished, the darned cow.

Around 11:30PM I got a call from my manager who was at the other branch. M made them all stay half an hour later after closing time. He is just that awesome.

I'd made a vow not to swear any more, and that if I did, I'd put $1 into my piggy bank. I'm now $5 poorer. (But hooray, I saved $5!)

I bet M worked on "Wank Around The Globe".