JUST when I thought my day couldn't be ruined because Joss Stone is coming to Singapore, my colleague goes and does it again. He pissed me off.

Now I'm in such a mood. WhatsApp chats are making me laugh, but right after I set my phone down on the table I want to cry in anguish.

He actually said to me that he wouldn't want this lady even if she gave herself to him for free in reply to her saying, "Uncle, don't stand so close to me."

His reason is first and foremost not because he's married, but because she is "so fat, double your size!" (The 'your' is referring to me.)

Sizeist bigot. Yeah, he's racist too. We have a Malay part-timer from time-to-time, and my colleague always keeps his wallet in his pocket (usually it's sitting on a rack on our shared desk) when the part-timer is working.

Now, it may seem like I'm jumping to conclusions, but my colleague actually told me: "I must keep my wallet when he's working. Cannot trust him."

I asked, "Why not?"

And my colleague shook his head as if in resignation. "These Malay guys ah, you never know if he got steal money. Better to be safe than sorry."

My first day working here, he told me to look after his wallet; he can trust me. In my head, I thought, "Why does he trust me? He just met me. What is he basing this trust on?"

Then I got my answer, and now he reveals he's a sizeist, too. It's not enough that he makes subtle comments or jokes about weight/my weight, but he had to call me fat yesterday, and insult two other women within the span of two days.

He is never getting off my shit list. Right now the only way he could get off it would be to donate his heart to my long-gone grandmother in the grave. Or sincerely apologize and never repeat his mistakes. That'll work. But the former has a higher possibility, I bet.

Why are the heavens so good to me?

Yesterday started out horribly when my colleague unknowingly pissed me off by calling me fat, then insulting a coworker behind her back.

The only reason "MANSLAUGHTER IN UBI" didn't appear on your local news is because of a bunch of funny people on my WhatsApp chats who made light of the situation and calmed me down (with bitching).

Gotta love bitching.

My mood was considerably cheered up after work, and while I was on my way in the train to meet two friends for dinner, one of them sent this message:

Me, freaking out

After the customary freaking-out, I told him not to joke about it, and he bet $10 that it's the truth.

Now, my group of friends and I don't bet on stuff carelessly, as we are very cost-conscious. So I believed him.

These two friends of mine started walking fast away from me when I met them and couldn't stop laughing hysterically after verifying the news. I guess it was kinda creepy.

Now I'm conflicted over whether to declare yesterday one of the best days of the year so far. Maybe it's safest to call it one of the best nights?

If the gig gets cancelled you just know I'll cry for weeks.

Anxiety

I can barely stand still as the webpage takes its time loading. The Java bar is slowly filling up with a flashing blue, and my heart pounds faster.

There is an ache spreading throughout my stomach. It may be the butterflies, or just plain need for defecation (the time now is post-lunch).

At last! The page loads and I see an abundance of black-ringed circles, interspersed with yellow-ringed ones. Carefully I select two circles, and click Proceed.

My patience is rewarded with a page full of empty bars to fill up. Information is entered, and I carry on to the next step.

Processing takes place, and I am prompted to type in some more numbers.

Now, I wait.

And wait.

And wait.

The stupid server times out and I have to do everything all over again.

So I do.

And wait.

The page refreshes itself, and I am now the proud owner of two Ellie Goulding concert tickets.

Well, co-owner.

Okay, technically, my friend Gladys paid first, so I...own nothing.

Still! Internet transactions amaze me. Cold, hard cash is now an option, not a necessity. Who'd have known we'd come this far?

In the words of Lloyd Dobler from the film Say Anything: "Why can't you be in a good mood? How hard is it to decide to be in a good mood and be in a good mood once in a while?"

Honestly. Some people are just so adamant to feel bad for themselves that they can't be happy in whatever they do. I know you feel like you're stuck, but lots more people are in far worse situations than yours - I'm not even talking about third world countries - so if you just changed your perspective at least for a little while, you wouldn't be in this depressing funk.

I always admonish myself when I sink into a mood, because I know it's entirely up to me to feel happy. Of course, I'm talking about mood swings, not the sadness that ensues when something bad happens. Mood swings are caused by no reason in particular except the universe hates you, so I try to get it lifted as soon as I realize I'm in a mood. Sometimes I'll let it simmer for a while until I want to slap myself for feeling so much self-pity. It's way too indulgent.

Listen to some Bob Marley or world music; it always makes me feel better.