Whenever people first find out that my mom is no longer with me, their reaction is usually one of sympathy, or even empathy. It used to be a sort of consolation for me, like "Oh, woe is me, feel for me, I am a fragile broken thing." I used to cry when people offered me piteous looks and comforting words.

But now I know that it has happened for a reason, and that everyone's presence in my life is for one reason only: it is in His plan. So I no longer feel sadness engulf me when I tell people that my mom has passed. As they hug me, comfort me, encourage me, all I feel now is the unwavering love from my Father, and everyone's concern for me as a sister in this community.

It's a wonderful feeling.

"'Cause I'm on the up and up
And I haven't given up
On what I know I'm capable of
Yeah there's nothing left to prove
'Cause I'm just trying to be a better version of me for you

You never cease to supply me
With what I need for a good life
So when I'm down I'll hold my head up high
'Cause you're the reason why
You're why I'm on the up and up."

---Relient K, "Up And Up"