Serious Addiction Maybe?

Work is mundane as usual, but due to lack of proper sleep, I am easily irritable today.

And boy, are people irritating.

Nonetheless, I have derived a solution: nail polish.

Watsons has a sale going on right now until 15 July, and every time I enter a store expecting the things I want to be on sale, they never are. So yesterday I strolled into the Watsons at Plaza Singapura, not expecting anything at all, and BAM! Sally Hansen was on sale.

*Cue glitter confetti*

I got Peachy Keen at $14.95 instead of $19.90. It's a 25% discount!

Was pretty excited about it until an hour ago, when I searched for Sally Hansen on Qoo10. There's someone selling the exact same color at $11.90, in a 1-for-1 promotion.

Yes, my mood is so sunken right now.

Thank goodness I have a metaphorical lifebuoy, which is that nail polish is nail polish. So I don't regret buying it, but I lament that the fact that it could have been cheaper.

Now I'm waiting for that seller to restock the colors that I want so that I can yell, "YAY I GOT THEM CHEAP!"

Work Woes

I really thought I was making progress in handling my emotions at work. But I guess the universe just likes to disappoint me over and over again. This time it isn't the usual suspect who's pissing me off.

For fear of this being read by the actual perpetrator, I shan't name any names or positions here. This particular dude (oops I just revealed the gender; do I even care?) thinks it's perfectly fine to be condescending, like I'm lacking the ability of cognition and understanding.

"Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?"
"English, motherfucker, do you speak it?"

These are what I perceive him to be saying. It's comic relief for myself, mainly. I can pretend he's trying to channel Rush Hour or Pulp Fiction and failing miserably, thus making himself look stupid. If not, I'd be bawling my eyes out in the bathroom trying to determine what I was doing with my life.

I did not wade through all that shit in life just to be the target of your subtle bullying. Sometimes I pity you. You're born with a silver spoon in your mouth, you still have your health, you got married and had kids and have a good career going, etc. But do you realize that you still act like a child sometimes? And that a lot of the times we can't stand the way you speak to us? You should read books on how to effectively motivate your staff. Condescension isn't it.

Heck, I just gave it all away. If you're reading this, don't fire me. Unless it's with severance pay.

Half Of Something Else

It amazes me how I can feel something stirring in my chest whenever I hear this song in the right mood.  A smile just forms on my face unwittingly and my heart swells with emotion. It triggers the melancholy in me but the strangest thing is that it makes me happy, too.




I don't know if I can ever
put this feeling down in words
But all I want is for you to know how I feel.

Books

Cheryl, you have got to stop buying more books when there are a whopping 19 of them waiting for you at home.

I think I have a problem.

Every time a band I like has a song that's based on a book, I set out to buy the book, eager to read the words that inspired the lyrics. But I always end up shelving the book after a few chapters in. It's a sickening habit: money is wasted, and I still don't know how the bands got inspired.

Also, I keep wanting to buy books recommended in articles or reviews or forums or wherever. But those that I have bought, I haven't read. And yet I am still browsing online bookstores and adding books to my wishlist.

Mission: To finish Erica Jong's Fear Of Flying ASAP. Whenever my iPod shuffles to the song Isadore by Incubus, I feel a tinge of annoyance at myself because I'm still stuck at Chapter Four.

Playgrounds & The Sea

I guess I really like hanging out at playgrounds. Especially if there's no need to rush for the last train or bus and when parents aren't waiting at home in fury.

There's just this feeling of exhilaration - or even liberation if you will - that comes with being near the sea late at night. The sight of that vast ocean (albeit barely visible), accompanied by kids yelping in pure joy - it just makes me feel all fluttery inside.

They say Cancerians love water. I have never really agreed with it because I can't swim and it seems like I might never learn, but over the years I've realized that I always feel happy around bodies of water. Of course, it depends on the company as well. It's such a blessing that those who accompanied me in these memories are the ones who make me happy.

The last time I was at an old-school playground was at Raffles place. So it felt a little restricting because there were plenty of office clothing-clad adults milling about. You could tell that they wanted to join in but couldn't because their clothes weren't conducive for wear and tear, plus they had to uphold their professional image near their offices.

So instead they just stared at us with malicious sour grapes in their expressions. Plus I fell and hit my head on the merry-go-round so there's that.

Another time after that was at some housing estate near...a circle line MRT station. I can't remember where and why we were there, but my friends and I went crazy when we spotted it. We were already rushing for the last trains/buses, but upon the sight of the playground, we just abandoned all sense and became little kids again.

But that playground felt a little stiff because it was built on those rubber surfaces instead of sand, and the merry-go-round was this enormous contraption that looked like a spinning circus tent with ropes. It was super safe and therefore not very merry, thank you very much.

I prefer my merry-go-rounds deadly and lawsuit-worthy.

So the East Coast Park playground is perfect for me. It has the sea, it has little kids for me to fight over swings with, it has an old-fashioned merry-go-round.

It's kind of making me want to scout for old-school playgrounds all over Singapore.

Shizz

Stealth Birthday Mission for Faisal accomplished with fantastic results! *Confetti*

It was hilarious to see his shocked face when Eugene fell on him in the theater. Then again when Aziee arrived. And again when we revealed that the orange bag was his. And then the book. And then the cupcake at midnight.

BOOYAH WE ARE SO GOOD AT SURPRISES! *Pat on the back*

Okay I'm in a food coma right now so I can't be bothered about proper sentence structures and literary devices. All in all, I had so much fun and the old school playground was a big plus. I really love reliving childhood days with my new friends family.

Had the first weekend in ages to myself and man, I think I've grown too comfortable in my room because now I am actively missing it. Part of me wants to fall sick so that I can stay home and out of this suffocating haze.

Oh well, now's the time to plug in my little orange portable speaker and listen to all the music I've downloaded over the weekend. I must've uploaded about 100 new songs, but there's one that I keep repeating.

I've been sharing this video and song on multiple social platforms, including urging some friends via text message to check it out. I feel it's a crime for people not to hear this song and feel the same rushing waves of emotion fill up their hearts.

On the night, that we met
You told me you wanted something more from me
And it was all that I could do
I remember your face, like a child
The way that you blush; the way that you smile
But now it's all that I can do, and I wake up feeling new
There's so much more I never knew

So I think about the years spent alone
It's like you're searching for something, to make you feel whole
Like you're half of something else
Like you're half of something else
Just a fraction of yourself

Don't take it so hard, we did what we could
There were no easy answers to be understood
And it was all that we could do
We're the only ones who knew
And now all that I think about

The way that you scream
The way that you cry
The way that you wipe your eyes and fall against my side
The way that you told, told me I was wrong
And the way that you sing, when you hear a song
And the way that you answer, when you knew I was gone
Now I know that I'm blind, but you're all I see
And yeah I know it's not clever
But I just want you with me

I'm only half of something else

The melody just makes my heart sing along. And the words. I don't know if I feel like just a fraction of myself and that I need someone to make me whole, but I love how the lyrics make me feel small yet significant at the same time.

Like the world is enormous and limitless, but if I am half of something else, it means I exist. In a way I'll always be half of something else, regardless of whether I find it or not. I believe it's out there, and I may never find it, but it's comforting to know that I am not alone. I'm part of this world.

P.S. You don't have to understand what I'm saying, because I do. And that's enough for now.